


Unraveling Feelings

by GaelicGongoozler99



Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Best Friends, Developing Friendships, Fear, Feelings Realization, Feels, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Friendship/Love, M/M, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, YouTube
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-30
Updated: 2020-11-30
Packaged: 2021-03-09 19:28:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,076
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27791533
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GaelicGongoozler99/pseuds/GaelicGongoozler99
Summary: What if you were in love with your best friend? What would you do? Would you tell them? Would you keep it bottled up? Would it eat you up inside knowing you could never be with the one you love?
Relationships: Mark Fischbach/Ethan Nestor
Comments: 2
Kudos: 96





	Unraveling Feelings

**Author's Note:**

> Yikes, this is my first ever Crankiplier fanfic, and it's probably not very good, but let me know what you think. Cut me some slack as it's been 5 yrs since I wrote fanfic. Of course, if you have any criticisms, or ideas to improve my writing, send them my way. Without further ado, enjoy 🙂

It was an ordinary Friday afternoon. Ethan was on his way to Mark's house to film a video for Mark's channel. He had been to Mark's house so many times before but this time felt different, in fact the last few weeks with Mark felt different.

Mark was Ethan's best bud and the pair had a blast whenever they were together. They liked so many of the same things, which they would often bond over. And over the few years they've known each other, they had grown very close.

Mark would often say he thinks of Ethan like a brother.Ethan would say the same about Mark, but whether or not he knew it then, Mark would never just be a brother to Ethan.

Ethan had been into women his whole life, but lately he was feeling things he thought he shouldn't about someone he thought he would never feel this way about.

He had never felt this way about a man, until Mark came along and changed everything for him.

At first it was just two friends doing weird stuff together for content. And then for Ethan, it blossomed into something more.

He didn't know what to think. He was so confused and so angry. Confused because this had never happened before, and angry because he knew nothing could ever happen between them.

He wasn't even sure he wanted that. All he knew was that in the past few weeks, he and Mark hung out a lot more, and whatever feelings he had for Mark only seemed to grow.

With each passing day, it became even harder for Ethan to push his feelings aside. He felt as though he had no one to talk to about what was going on in his head.

It was especially hard for him because he didn't know what to make of any of it. He so desperately wanted to figure out how or why it came about and what it meant. Because maybe then he would know how to make it go away.

But he couldn't. Maybe because he didn't want to make things awkward. Or maybe because he didn't want to ruin their friendship. Or even simply because he was scared.

Scared to be vulnerable. Scared to put himself out there. Scared of the rejection he might get. Or just scared to try something new.

But whatever the reason may have been, Ethan knew he was fucked if he didnt do something about it soon.

He couldn't bring it up to Mark. He wouldn't bring it up to him because number one he didn't know what it meant, and number two, he knew that if he said something, it was almost guaranteed to destroy everything between them. Years of friendship, years of memories...all down the drain because of his feelings

 _This can't be happening_ he thought, _He's my best friend nothing more._ He was having an internal battle with himself. _What do i do? What do i do?_

He was almost at Mark's place now. He had no idea what he was going to do. He debated going home and faking an illness.

But he soon realized it wouldn't have really mattered anyway. He would have to see his crush at some point. He couldn't avoid him forever, although he wished he could. He had to go in there and put a mask on, so no one would suspect anything was wrong.

 _Here goes nothing…_ He sighed as he parked the car, took Spencer out of the back seat, and got out. That dog was the only thing keeping him from losing his mind. He loved that dog more than anything else in this world, and was beyond grateful to have him in his life.

He beeped the car to ensure it was locked, took a deep breath, and took a tentative step towards Mark's door.

He stopped to put his keys in his pocket, and took a few shaky breaths hoping to calm his now trembling body.

It’s now or never he thought as he finally took another step, and another, and another until he was in front of the door.

He didn't bother knocking or ringing the bell, since Mark already knew he was coming he decided it wasn't necessary. He took a final deep breath, and walked into Mark's house.

*********

About an hour had passed since Ethan first entered Mark's house, and they were just wrapping up their collab.

"Well that's the end of today's video, go subscribe to Ethan's channel, all of his links will be down in the description box below, and as always I'll see you in the next video, Buh bye!" Mark said, saying goodbye to the viewers at the end of his video. Ethan said a goodbye and waved to the viewers as the video came to an end.

When the video was over Mark asked Ethan if he wanted to stay for a bit and film another video together. Ethan was nervous but also excited at the same time.

He was unsure what to say as a part of him wanted to say yes and spend as many waking moments with Mark as possible, but the other part of him wanted to say no because he couldn't bear the pang he felt in his chest every time he was with Mark.

The butterflies he felt every time he was alone with Mark lately were enough to make his heart jump. But he couldn't ignore the pain he felt at the same time having to keep this big secret from the man he idolized for years, the man who has become a great ally to him.

Maybe it wasn't fair keeping it a secret but Mark was straight as far as Ethan knew, and he didn't want to make Mark uncomfortable, or make things weird between the two of them, if he suddenly told Mark about his feelings for him.

"Eth, hello?" Mark asked pulling Ethan out of his thoughts.

"Er, oh yeah, sorry what's up?"

"I asked if you wanted to film another video together?"

"Right, um honestly I have a lot of stuff I have to take care of back at home, so I really should get going." Ethan knew that was a terrible lie but he couldn't be in the room with Mark anymore without wanting to throw up from being so nervous.

"Dude are you okay?" Mark could always tell when something was not right with his friends and loved ones, which Ethan both loved and hated.

"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?" Ethan tried to be as calm as he could be, to try and convince his friend that he was really okay even though he was most definitely not.

"I don't know, you seem off today, and you can barely even look at me… did I do something wrong?"

"No Mark, of course not...I just didn't get a lot of sleep last night and I guess I'm just out of it today." Another lie, but at least it's believable, right?

"Ethan, I know it's more than that, come on. You know whatever it is, you can tell me right?"

"Yeah I know, it's just…. complicated."

"C'mon man dont make me drag it out of you, what's wrong?"

Ethan finally looked up at him for the first time since the conversation started, and noticed the concerned look on Mark's face.

Mark was usually a goofy, silly, fun loving guy who you could never really take seriously, but when it came to someone he loved being in pain, he turned into a completely different person. He was a kind hearted all around good guy and when someone was in pain all he wanted to do was help them.

Ethan sighed heavily and opened his mouth to speak, but decided against it and closed it again.

Finally after what felt like forever he spoke up, still looking at the ground, too afraid to turn his gaze on his best friend.

"I really don't know how to say this" it came out as barely a whisper but Mark heard it.

"Just say it, I won't judge you."

Ethan was so nervous he had a lump in his throat but he pushed it away and tried his best to keep his composure.

"I don't know exactly, what it is…." He trailed off. "But lately… I've been having these… thoughts I guess?"

"Thoughts? What kind of thoughts?"

Ethan did all he could to suppress his frustration, because he wasn't ready to tell Mark, and Mark kept pushing him.

Although at this point he had to spill it, because he knew Mark wouldn't leave him alone about it unless he did.

He swallowed hard and continued, mustering up as much courage as he could.

"Look Mark, no matter what happens, I love you and I'm so glad we are friends, you are the strongest person I know and I wouldn't be where I am without you..." Ethan could barely finish before a tear escaped his eye, and then another, and another.

Ethan was not a baby, he could handle much worse than this, but he was so stressed and nervous that he couldn't control his emotions.

"Dude what's going on? You're starting to scare me."

"I-I-I I'm sorry, I just can’t right now." His voice broke on the last word as he got up and ran to get Spencer. He needed to get the hell out of that house.

But before he could get very far, Mark grabbed his arm and turned him around so they were face to face.

"What the hell is up with-" Mark was cut off by Ethan pressing his lips to Marks.

Mark was shocked at first but soon after he closed his eyes and kissed Ethan back as if his life depended on it.

It was a quick kiss but full of love nonetheless.

When they broke apart they both stood there in shock staring into each other's eyes neither one daring to move an inch or say a word. Finally after a long while Mark spoke up.

"Well I can't say that didn't surprise me… but lucky for you I love surprises."

He cupped Ethans face with one hand and kissed him tenderly, his other hand moving to Ethans waist to pull him even closer.

When they pulled away they both looked in the others eyes and smiled wide.

"Why didn't you just tell me?" Mark asked in a hushed whisper.

"I was confused… I've never felt this way about a man before… I wanted to tell you I just… I guess I was scared…"

"It's okay Eth, it's okay to be scared but just so you know, you'll never have to be scared again, I love you…"

"You do?"

"Of course, I've been crazy about you for a long time, I just always thought you were straight, so I figured you'd never want to be with me."

Ethan saw a twinge of pain in Mark's eyes, that he had never seen before, and he wanted nothing more than to take it all away.

Ethan pulled Mark's face closer to his and kissed him one last time, savoring every moment, like it was the last.

When they pulled apart, Ethan grabbed Mark's face.

"How could you ever think that?” He asked, incredulously.

“You are kind, courageous, talented, smart, and funny as hell. You're probably the most attractive man I've ever laid my eyes on, plus you're certifiably insane at times and I love you for it" Mark chuckled at the last part as Ethan finished, "Anyone would be crazy to turn you down, Mark Edward Fischbach."

Mark smiled wider than Ethan had ever seen him smile before, and then asked the burning question on everyone's minds—

"Just how long have you felt this way?" Of course he said it with a smirk that made Ethan's heart leap out of his chest.

"A-about three w-weeks.." His knees were weak, and if it wasn't for Mark holding him close he might've fallen over.

"Next time just tell me what you're feeling when you're feeling it, this way we don't have to waste any time" he smirked once again and pulled Ethan close into a loving embrace.

They would have stayed like that forever if they could, wrapped up in each other's arms, safe and warm, the rest of the world fading behind them.

Whatever happens next, they have each other and that's all that matters. 


End file.
